Cabin Fever

Looking on the bright side, I should now have immunity to at least one local strain of intestinal flora. On the other hand, I've lost two days in which I had hoped to meet this week's team and start working at the orphanage. And in lieu of the actual fever that kept me awake all last night, I now have a bad case of cabin fever.

Through sheer probability, brief little realizations have puctuated the inordinate amount of time I've spent languishing in the past couple days. Firstly, I've realized through reading the blog of a buddy of mine that my time here is really whatever I make of it-- and the relationships I make can be as superficial or as deep as I (and the other person) decide. However, I'll be spending most of the summer with people who are either much older or much younger than me. Though I desire fellowship with people who are at the same stage of life as me, I'll have this fellowship for at least the next four years, and probably for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what God has to teach me by putting me in this situation, but I know that it'll become clear sooner or later. Last summer, it took me a while to figure out that I was in Guatemala so I could come to a fuller understanding of the difference between living with unbelievers (which is what I did) and Christian fellowship. If you don't think there's a big difference, talk to me and I'll change your mind. I pray that this summer, I'll learn more about what Christian fellowship really should look like.

I've also been reading a lot of Franz Kafka (the guy who wrote The Metamorphosis), who wrote a lot of pretty dark stuff about the weakness and helplessness of man. But as I continued to read, I kept getting the feeling of there being a way out-- out of insanity, of captivity, of self-delusion, of ignorance. Indeed, these are the ever-present plagues of humanity, infecting us all like the culture in which we live-- insidiously, from the moment we are born. Yet Kafka's characters (and Kafka himself), just like most people, never find this way out, and often don't even realize their real problem. Our role as Christians is to be salt and light to people who are perishing in this darkness.

Anyway, I hope to be back on the job tomorrow, and to have lots of stories to tell by this weekend. Much love.